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Health & Fitness

Blog: The Dark Secret of Domestic Abuse Between Siblings

Domestic Abuse between siblings occurs more frequently than any other form of domestic abuse.

Growing up on a small farm in Indiana I never expected as an adult I would encounter issues such as the one this blog is addressing. Never, in my wildest dreams, did I imagine sitting on the front steps of my home with Aerosmith's "Janie's Got a Gun" playing and hearing my sweet friend relay the sexual abuse and harassment she endured as an adolescent girl. Later, a co-worker shared her father had sexually abused her from the time she was about three years old. Understandably, I was sickened and angered by both their stories. I later learned my reaction was the best possible reaction I could have expressed to those friends, to help them. It set me on the pathway to learning about abuse and how to help a friend who had been victimized.

Most recently, another dear friend came forward with the tales of her lifelong abuse by a sibling. Color me naive, but I had never heard of adult siblings harassing one another, striking one another or making attempts on a brother or sister's life. Until I began to research it online and discovered abuse between siblings, even adult siblings, is more common than any other form of domestic abuse.

I began to do some research on this particular kind of abuse and uncovered more information that I cared to learn. In a press release from the American Psychological Association dated 2004, "It seems that when abusive acts occur between siblings, family members often don’t see it as abuse." Studies have shown that 3 out of 100 siblings are dangerously violent toward a brother or sister and even higher numbers of siblings who are injured. As with all abuse, demographics (race, social class, education) have no bearing on it.

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We are constantly admonished by bumper stickers on police cars to call for help. There are ads on TV with phone numbers to call and we are encouraged to dial 911 if we are being hurt. But, what happens after we cry for help?

Months have passed since my friend's sibling hit her while she was caring for their invalid parent and caused a concussion. This was one of a series of violent encounters that I later learned began in childhood. After being stricken the third time she finally pressed charges. Why did it take so long? What has happened since then?

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I hope her experience and mine as the buddy who has held her hand through it can help (and encourage) anyone reading this to be brave. Stand up for yourself but be prepared for what will follow. Sadly, family members may attempt to prevent you from getting help. They may be in denial or embarrassed but you (the victim) must stand strong and do what is right to protect yourself.

Contact the Monrovia Police Department by calling 626-256-8000 or by dialing 911.

In speaking with the watch commander at the Monrovia Police Dept., I learned our officers can refer victims for emotional support to Santa Anita Family Services (605 South Myrtle Avenue, ph: 626-359-9358) and The Foothill Unity Center (415 West Chestnut Ave., ph: 626-359-1777).

Once you have called the police and pressed charges it will pass from your hands to the hands of the District Attorney. The State of California charges the abuser and he or she will appear in court accordingly.

From the LA Superior Court, Domestic Violence is defined, in common language: If you have been beaten, cut, kicked, threatened, stalked or raped by your spouse, former spouse or partner, by the father or mother of your children, by someone you have dated or lived with in a dating relationship or by a family member, you may be a victim of domestic violence.

Family members are defined as your parents, grandparents, brother, sister, children or grandchildren.

Additional resources for victims of abuse are:

LA City Attorney's Victims Assistance, ph: 1-213-978-2110

LA County District Attorney's Office Family Violence Division, ph: 1-800-978-3600

National Domestic Violence Hotline, ph: 1-800-799-7233 and TTY 1-800-712-9279

Victims of Crime Resource Center, ph: 1-800-842-8467 and TTY 1-800-712-9279

Resource Center on Domestic Violence, Chld Protection and Custody, ph: 1-800-527-3223

LA County Information and Referrals dial 211.

http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/sibabuse.htm

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