For the professional horse racing gamblers, betting on a name or a number at the Belmont Stakes is as good as throwing your money in the filthy race track toilet. But for the rest of us who don't know our behinds from a racing form, whimsy is all we have.
With Santa Anita Park just a gallop away and locally owned I'll Have Another scratched, gamblers without a clue can head on down to the track and place a wager based on these highly suspect betting strategies.
- It's June 9, bet on horse #9. Pretty simple really. Maybe the stars aligned and Paynter (7-2), a popular "sleeper horse," will draw some luck from the calendar.
- Choose names with momentum. Unstoppable U (20-1) sounds pretty unstoppable, and if Optimizer (15-1) really is who he says he is, then his optimal finish is first. Along that same reasoning, My Adonis (15-1) sounds like a preening show pony so stay away from that prima donna.
- Go Long. Real Long. There are three 30-1 longshots--Ravelo's Boy, Five Sixteen, and Guyana Star Dweej--so if you're feeling lucky and really have no idea what your doing, slap down some money on these horses (all with terrible names, I must say) and hope for the best.