Kentucky Derby 2012 Picks: Strategies for the Clueless Bettor

For the professional horse racing bettors, there is a complicated calculus scratched out on the racing form that explains who will win the Kentucky Derby. But for the rest of us who bet nearly at random, names and numbers will do.

With Santa Anita Park just a slow trot away, locals without a clue can head on down to the track and place a wager based on these whimsical betting strategies.

• It's Cinco de Mayo, bet on #5. Pretty simple really. The derby falls on Cinco de Mayo this year, so why not take a chance on the horse with the fifth post position: "Dullahan". The horse is an 8:1 bet. Or go with Spanish-named El Padrino if you want more risk, he's a 20-1 long shot.
• Bet on the Mint Julep. The 10:1 horse "Hansen" has a trainer named Mike Maker. As in Maker's Mark. As in bourbon, the main ingredient in the derby's signature drink, the Mint Julep. Hey, I didn't promise these would work, folks.
• Go long. Real long. There are four 50:1 longshots. If you really have no idea what you're doing, slap some money down on Rousing Sermon, Trinniberg, Done Talking, or Liaison and hope for a miracle.
• Local bet: Monrovia is the Gem City. So bet on "Gemologist." He's got 6:1 odds and has a favorable post position.